


What people never noticed

by nobodys_hero



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Help, M/M, One piece movie gold, Self-Destruction, Self-Sacrifice, This is me writing at work, add more tags later, maybe some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:51:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9438887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodys_hero/pseuds/nobodys_hero
Summary: Zoro almost died again and Sanji is taking it so hard that Zoro finally confronts him about a lot of things. What happens after no one could imagine, well maybe Robin





	

The empty, open sea was a beautiful and welcoming sight after dealing with that lunitic Gild Tesoro. This was especially true for the strawhat cook, Sanji. He come very close to one of his greatest fears all over again, the death of the great swordsman Roronoa Zoro. Sanji hadn't come that close to the possiblity of Zoro's death since Thriller Bark but that casino was almost Zoro's final adventure. He knew everyone was taking Zoro's almost execution badly except for the grass haired bastard himself, the moss ball whom had no regard for his own personal well being what so ever. Hell Chopper had barely let Zoro out of his sight since they were off that Golden nightmare. Sanji on the other hand had been getting into as many physical fights with Zoro as he could manage just to remind himself that the swordsmen was alive and with him still.

Sanji had known for many years, many many years, that he sexually desired males just as much as he did hid beautiful ladies. His rightful old man knew and never really cared at all about his kid's sexual preference as long as Sanji was being safe about it and wasn't getting hurt in the process. Until the day he left the Baratie Zeff never approved of any man or woman Sanji left with or brought back to the resturante until he saw the was Sanji looked at Zoro, it was the only time the old man made a comment and it was one Sanji never wished to think about his father saying to him ever again. The mere memory made Sanji's skin flush and shiver at the same time.

Still Sanji had never be completely honest about his sexuality with his Nakama, though he was almost positive Robin already knew. He was positive no one would really care about it one way or another and he was completely certian that Luffy wouldn't even consider kicking him off the ship like many other Captians would. Luffy just wants his Nakama to be happy and healthy, he wants to make sure each one accomplishes their dreams. All of the crew would want Sanji to be true to himself in every way and though they would not care he doubts they will be happy about him keeping them in the dark about what makes him happy and well him. There isn't much about eachother they do not know and after so many years traveling together.

He knew the biggest issue he had was that for the first time Sanji was in love with a man. This man also happened to be his Nakama; the straight, macho, muscle brained nakama whom Sanji had never seen in a physical or romantic relationship whith anyone in the four years they have been running with Luffy, and the man who most likely hated him. Maybe not hate but dislike because he won't let Sanji die but he also isn't as gentle with Sanji as he was with Chopper or Luffy. The issue was this wasn't his normal fleeting love he felt for every woman he saw, no this was that kind he had felt once before that was all consuming and final; either total happiness or total and complete heart break. The last time Sanji felt this it nearly broke him apart. This was the kind of love Sanji avoided at all costs. Yet here Sanji sat in his kitchen with his bipoloar heart which didn't know if to flutter at the sight of Zoro working out shirtless on the deck with those strong arms and chest or break slightly because that will never be his warm muscle to hold him close at night.

Sanji could never let Zoro know the control he had over his heart. He knew Zoro would never use it against him, no he would gently let Sanji down and treat him as carefully as possible until he was sure Sanji was no longer hurting because of him, Zoro was a surprisingly gentle when it came to the issues of the heart. Zoro had rejected people before and he always held on to the guilt of causing them pain, especially if it is his Nakama. Sanji had once seen Nami confess to Zoro to try and make Luffy jealous at one point, Zoro of course had no idea of her true plan and was livid when he found out but before she came clean he let her down in the gentlest way possible. He has made Nami cry with his sensitivity and care for the situation, though she never would divuldge what he said to her to anyone from that private conversation. He had been more pissed of at Nami afterwards than any of the crew had seen him at anyone other than an enemy, every. Nami spent weeks apologizing, sucking up to, and lowering his debt before he would even acknowledge her existence again. By the end Nami had dropped nearly half of his debt. Sanji could not figure out why such a normally stoic man would care so much about an issue with emotion and more importantly and issue of the heart. When Sanji finally asked why Zoro had gotten so mad at her he was first answered with a 'tsk' and a shaken head then the very passionate words the brash man spoke made Sanji's heart swell and damn near stop.

“When you have had to bury your first love at a young age like me, after they confess their feelings for you the night before and you were to much of a coward to tell her that you felt the same you tend to take care of those who risk their hearts to express themselves seriously. I still carry the guilt of Kuina's death and of hurting her so needlessly, her sword will take me to finish our dream. I swore to her that not only I would be the greatest swordsmen but I would also try not to be such coward.” The sentiment has made Sanji fall even further in love with the moss head.

“Have you been able to keep that promise?” Sanji had asked.

“Until recently yes, I have many scars to prove it from both promises.” This was the scary thing about Zoro, he was very easy to love and even easier to trust with anything and everything. Sanji could still to this day hear those words in his head, they made him happy at the same time he knew that is Zoro ever found out what was going on in Sanji's heart he would lose what little connection he had with the marimo and would be treated like glass instead of like steel.

“Hey love cook!” Speak or in this case think of the sweaty devil and he shall walk through the kitchen door.

“What do you want marimo?” Sanji tried to sound as normal as possible even though he had been caught sulking in his haven. Why could he not sulk in peace?

“What is going on with you?” As weirdly observant as ever. “ You have been picking more fights with me since the casino.” _of course he would notice, damn those observant eyes_ Sanji cursed in his head.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Sanji all but pouted at being called out, luckily his back was still to the most likely still sweaty and mostly undressed reason for his daydreams and nightmares.

“Yes you do Blondie now turn around and look at me while I am talking to you.” Zoro demanded, and Sanji had no choice but to obey that authoritative voice. There was a reason Zoro was the first mate, no one denied him. “You have been all but up my ass since we got to open waters.” Zoro began advancing towards Sanji, forcing the blonde to back away from his dangerous and all consuming aura that made Sanji want to submit, and he would happily submit to Zoro if that was really an option at this point. Sanji was was internally panicking at the confrontation, he had been close to breaking apart in silence before Zoro came in and demanded attention. Sanji knew at this moment his emotions and heart were much more vulnerable then Zoro had seen since he left his father behind, since he found Zoro the morning after the fight with Kuma and found Zoro standing there damn near dead. Looking into those broken ocean blue eyes Zoro instantly knew what had caused the cook's change in aggression. When Zoro finally had Sanji backed against the wall and no where to go he reached out and snatched up one the cook's precious hands and placed it on the expanse of his bare chest, over his still beating heart.

“Please back away from me Zoro.” Sanji pleaded with Zoro trying weakly to take back his hand from Zoro's warm skin.

“I am alive Sanji. Do you hear me? Do you feel my heart beat? It is strong and still going. I know you are all having a hard time with me almost being executed and almost dies on you guys again and I am sorry for that but I am not dead, I am not going to leave you guys without a protector. I was not executed by Tesoro. I am no longer encased in gold and I am here with all of you.” The determined yet gentle tone mixed with the strong beat of the heart that Sanji had almost seen stop multiple times brought tears to Sanji's eyes.

“If you get yourself kills in one of your self sacrificing escapades you will kill this entire crew with you. Do you even realize how much we all rely on you in our day to day? Do you ever even think about that? Luffy depends on you! Chopper follows you everywhere! Nami needs your protection and instincts! I need you to keep me on my toes! Robin needs someone to read with her with some sort of insight! You protect everyone and keep us all safe! You are also the physically strongest on the ship, even stronger than Franky and Luffy. We need you to keep us grounded.” Sanji ranted, his voice raising and his breathing picking up. The hand that was held against Zoro's chest was being clenched into a fist.

“You would miss me sparing with you only?” Zoro smirked trying to lighten the mood and to get the blonde to calm down.

“Not the time for your smug comments Zoro I am actually upset with you.”

“Sanji if I fall then I have every confidence in you, you will keep everyone safe. Luffy depends on everyone here, Chopper has Law. I know you would miss me no matter how much you don't want to admit it but you will all move on. You will get a new first mate and the only thing I would ask is that you take the [wado ichimonji](https://www.google.com/search?biw=1138&bih=764&q=wado+ichimonji&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj4s972m8_RAhVC0YMKHdkABTIQ1QIIlAEoAw) , Kunia's sword, to the All Blue and drop her in that way she gets to see someone's dream come true and who better than one of the two closest people to me. If you find the All Blue obviously Luffy is the Pirate King so together we can see you two succeed.” Sanji could have actually slapped the swordsmen across his handsome face.

“How dare you say that Zoro! We will not move on from you! I will not move on from you!”

“I don't see why you specifically would not move on from my death. I figured even though I hold you higher I would be much lower on your list, most day I pretty sure you just tolerate anyone other than Luffy, Chopper, and your Ladies. I have always been positive I was at the bottom of your Nakama list.”

“That is not true and it was a misspeak!” Sanji tried to back up his words, not meaning to have let that slip.

“Sanji you don't misspeak and you just admitted to something that you don't want me to know.” Zoro refused to step back and Sanji's mind was becoming hazy with his scent. He could not escape Zoro what so ever, those golden eyes were keeping him pinned to the wall. Zoro was completely intoxicating and this entire conversation was doing things to Sanji's head that he couldn't control any longer. Sanji knew he could no longer survive in this limbo, Zoro either had to accept him and claim him for life or reject him and shatter his heart; shattering sounded like the more likely scenario but if that was what it came down to he would rather have pain then false hope. This was no or never, once and for all.

“What I haven't wanted you to know Zoro is that for years I have been irrevocable in love with you, you moss brained muscle head. I keep being the one who has to witness some of your worst attempts to stop living for the rest of us. You keep trying to throw your life away, take blows for people, replace people with yourself in battle, and making me find you almost dead if not watching the horror first hand. Not only are you trying to make me live without you but you are trying to make me watch it happen to, have you no mercy for my heart.” Sanji broke and began ranting at the now shocked and silenced swordsman, Zoro had not been expecting this. “I have to argue and fight with you everyday just so I can remind myself you are alive. I have to keep everything hidden inside me so that I don't lose what little connection we have with each other. Until a minuet ago I thought you disliked me as much as possible and still have me be Nakama and now you tell me I am one of your closest people. You have had no idea what has been going on with and I wanted to keep it that way so I didn't lose you but I can't handle the ups and downs anymore, my heart can't handle it.”

“I did know, well I had an idea that this may be happening with no proof.” Zoro admitted, his eyes softening.

“How could you possibly have known? I tried so hard to make sure you would never find out.”

“I came into the men's bunk room a few time and you were crying for me in your sleep, I would always calm you and lay with you until you were restful again. On many occasions you would mumble that you loved me but I was sure you didn't want me to know because you are are straight as can be and a skirt chaser. A 'muscle man' like me would probably be the last thing you wanted to be with and if you ever wanted to try you would come to me. I kept quiet to make sure that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable in your home or around me since it isn't like we can escape each other very much. If you didn't want me to know I wasn't going to force you to talk about it and to be honest I am surprised you are talking about it now.” Zoro admitted with a sigh, he had taken Sanji's feelings into consideration this entire time. “It is okay you will be over me eventually, you will have some new crush that will be better for you and won't hurt you just by being near like I do.”

“How dare you think so low of my feelings for you Roronoa Zoro. This is not some fleeting crush or some lust I need to get out of my system, you don't have the right to wave me off like some fan boy who has been blinded by your power and infatuated with your being. I know love, actual love, and I avoid it like a plague, because the only time I have ever been truly in love like this it only caused me a heart break so badly that by the time I met you my father was still worried about me drowning myself of the back of the ship and that was many years after I lost her or more accurately she left me behind for better. I will be honest though I am sexually attracted to men and have been since I can remember but this is the first time I am in love with and man and that man is you! Now if you don't mind I would rather deal with the enviable and then have my peace and deal with my heart break alone.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You rejecting me of course, there is no other way this could go. Love does not work for me. So kindly be as blunt and painful as possible to make sure my heart understands and can start to scar over again. And I am not kidding do not be gentle, I would rather deal with heart break over misplaced hope any day, it is worse that the pain.”

“Sanji...” Zoro's voice again softened.

“Look I know you are not interested in me, or anyone really though you are probably straight, I know that I am disgusting, and that if we were not Nakama you would loath everything about me. Please do me this one favor Zoro, I am begging you.”

“Sanji, even if we were not Nakama I would not nor could not hate you. Second you should know better than to think I consider gender important in anything, your sex does not matter to me nor does the sex of anyone. Honestly sex doesn't even enter into the equation for my sexuality. It is all based on personality and me having a strong connection to them in some way. I have been with men and women in my life before I met Luffy and even handed my heart to a small number that came back to bite me hard in the ass. You know I don't feel emotions like everyone else, when I do feel emotions like love, loyalty, betrayal, and other emotions but it seems to be amplified inside of me, and I am even worse at expressing emotions other than anger or indifference. I know the feeling of heart break Sanji and I would never wish that on someone innocent or Nakama so why would you beg me to inflict it on you.”

“Because I know you do not feel the same Zoro and I can not live in this limbo anymore. This up and down, this false hope, it is killing me. I am begging you for the release from this looping hell and let me wallow in a certain for once since I met you.”

“My feelings for you aside Sanji I refuse to knowingly and purposefully break your heart. That being said I have less of a chance of actually breaking your heart if you are never with and can't become anymore attached. I am not good with relationships at all and my life as you see could lead to me dead before we go much farther. I just don't try anymore Sanji. After Kuina I really did try but I have been left behind so many times because I am difficult to love between being an emotionless bastard and almost dying. I mean I know I am difficult to get along with and it is hard to watch you care for get hurt or almost die so I don't blame any of them, I am not worth their time and pain. Instead of rejecting you I would rather you forget your feelings for me all together to avoid any of the pain I will cause you. Doing that will be better for you in the long run Sanji I can promise you that.” Sanji stood there in a shocked anger, he had never seen such pain in those golden eyes and he never wanted to see it again. Zoro had obviously been deeply hurt in ways that he had yet to be able to heal in his heart. Zoro was always carrying so much pain and Sanji, nor anyone else, had ever taken the time to notice. From what Sanji was hearing it was no wonder Zoro didn't do relationships anymore, even going as far as to not follow through with one of the promises he made to his first love. Zoro had allowed his heart to be in the care of others and they had done nothing but scar him in every way possible.

“Those liars you are so completely worth time and pain, I have never asked anything from you before today nor have I gotten anything from you in this way and I still say through all the pain you are worth every moment. I have seen you show emotions other than murderous rage and blood lust so you are not emotionless just stoic. Your deep connections to your Nakama and your very deep set of morals is what gets you almost killed most of the time if it is not your pride as a swordsman.”

“So it isn't just my indifference but my values and emotions have been causing you pain? And yet you wish to have some sort of relationship with me? Can't you see if you get any more attached you will get hurt worse?” Zoro's voice was strained and his eyes were still vulnerable, pleading with Sanji to understand and free himself from Zoro's insecurities and past wounds. Sanji did not want to see such pain and fear in his swordsmen, he wanted that smug confidence back, or other more interesting expressions that only a body like Sanji's could cause.

“Don't think like that Zoro, if it wasn't for who you are I wouldn't have noticed you in the first place let alone fallen in love with you. You are a proud and powerful man and that is what I like to see, not you in pain. I know there is a lot to you that I have never gotten a chance to know and I want to know it and I want to be able to heal what ever those people did to you weather or not I track them down for hurting you. They have hurt you deeply and I know that if you are willing to show pain not only do you trust the person but there is also enough pain in you that your mask is breaking and you can no longer hide it away. You have such pain and defeat in your eyes Zoro and if I had my way I would never let you feel that kind of thing again. In my care you would never make this expression again and I would make you forget about what they did to you, also that Kuina would become a fond memory not a painful scar. Even if you don't want me by your side as a partner I will never let anyone hurt you again like this. Even if you break my heart I will protect yours', that is the kind of man I am Zoro. “

“Sanji you shouldn't concern yourself with my pain or my scars you should heal your own. I have a lot of problems and I can handle them by myself like I have been since before Luffy found me.”

“Zoro my scars and some of your are not the kind that one can fix by them that is the point and the problem. You don't share anything with anyone, hell it takes a pissed of Chopper to get you to take care of your physical self and no one even noticed the emotional and mental self that needs healing too. Since you seem to not want to choose someone to stand by you I elect myself to do it even if it is completely platonic.”

“Sanji I honestly don't know why you would be willing to do any of that.” Zoro sighed trying to finally back away from Sanji, this time Sanji would not let Zoro escape. Sanji lifted the hand that was not still resting on Zoro's skin and placed it on his chiseled and some what stubbly chin.

“Did you forget the simple fact I am in love with you moss head? I have already accepted the fact I won't be able to be with you but it doesn't mean I am going to leave you or that my love for you will go away. Now that I know this pain is here I will not let you suffer through it alone, this is part of being in love.”

“In all my past relationships I was the one taking care of my partners not my partners taking care of me, well it is that way with most of my relationships romantic or not.” Zoro sighed.

“You know you are making me realize how much we completely take you for-granted . Sanji sighed shaking his head. The entire crew really was taking Zoro for-granted himself included.

“No you are all fine, you are my Nakama it is my job to take care of all of you.” Zoro seemed shocked at the thought of his Nakama being more then they already were.

“But we don't show you the appreciation you need and deserve Zoro. You have tried to die for many of us over the years. The only time you get attention is when you are seriously injured. Hell I am sure most of the crew doesn't even know when your birthday, hell I don't even know the last time we celebrated your birthday. You almost died and instead of showering you with any kind of attention most of us are sulking by ourselves; that is not fair to you. Has any one actually asked you if you are okay since we got back from you almost being executed and lets not forget encased in gold?”

“Besides you no, but this is a normal thing in the life of a pirate, not to mention on the ship of the future king of the pirates.

“You are only proving my point Zoro and I don't want it to be like that anymore. I know you will never agree to have a relationship with me but I will no longer take you for granted.”

“Why do you keep saying I don't want you? I have never said that nor have I done anything on purpose to make you think that. I think you would be better off without me but I have never said I didn't want you. You are the one who has made me into a coward and to break my promise years ago.” Zoro's face began to harden with a silent anger, Sanji wasn't seeing the obvious.

“Zoro you have feelings for me?” Sanji was completely dumbstruck at the idea of Zoro actually returning his affections, but then everything in this conversation with the swordsmen had been shocking.

“I have been in love with you for many years Cook.” The pure passion and determination in Zoro's eyes and voice made Sanji's heart skip a beat.

“Then I have nothing to regret, your ass is mine swordsman.” Confidence flowed through Sanji as he finally took control of his hands and threw his arms around the swordsman’s neck and over his broad shoulders.

“Always pushy as always love cook.” Zoro smirked finally seeming to calm down.

“Oh you have no idea Marimo, you are finally going to see a real reason to call me that.” Sanji smirked finally looking forward to the rest of the day watching Zoro train because finally he was going to be able to call the muscle head his own. “You are mine Zoro and you better remember that. You are my partner now and I am not letting you go even after you claim your title and together we have found the All Blue.”

“Never have I been so content hearing about what someone had planned for the future.” Zoro hummed. “This is a good reason to have some sake.”

“You think every reason is a good reason to have some sake.

 


End file.
